fancy rain guage idea

I really need to fix my guttering. Theres a spot above the front door that leaks. It only leaks if there is a reasonable amount of rain tipping down though, more than just a shower. This got me thinking…

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What if I could tune this problematic guttering to spray that overflow water into fancy patterns, swirling fountains, or clean jets aimed at a pond in the garden?

What if I could have four pools, graded to the weather, and four separate spouts fed them? What if I could use this to state how heavy the rain was? “Look dear, it’s dinging down a 3er out there”.

An end piece for a standard gutter should be formable from copper to direct overflow in this way. The pools could look great - every garden benefits from a pool or two. We’re not talking mammoth lakes here, just little foot or two across garden ponds. I guess any newts that took residence in the big pool might get a shock during a ‘grade four downpour’ when the jet turns on - bet hey - they can swim.

I’d pay for that. Some artisan gutterer turns up at my house with his copper bending kit, his intuition, and an apprentice to dig a few ponds in ‘just the right place’. Think how cool your neighbours would think you were. “look John, next doors house looks so PRETTY when it rains!”

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This would really fit with my liking for arbitrary measurement. When making coffee we talk about a ‘3 spooner’ or a ‘4 spooner’. When we recently got all new cutlery the meaning of ’spoon’ changed. Our terminology didn’t. It just feels more organic. I like the thought that a ‘pool 2 day’ at my house is a ‘pool 4′ half a mile away. Personal units of measurement are so much more touchy feely than metric units.

Popularity: 14% [?]

no more big floods

England has been hard hit by floods this year, including a relatively close call for some of my in-laws. Turriff Show was even cancelled a couple of weeks back because of the downpours overnight. My garden even had a couple of huge puddles, and we practically live on a 1 in 10 slope.
I have a nice simple solution. Take a huge can of no-more-big-gaps, and squirt a 3 foot high barrier of solid expanding foam all round your house. Higher if need be.
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For comedy marketing purposes I’d call it nomorebigfloods or ‘no more big sewagey carpets’.
It might make a mess of the rosebeds, but they can be replanted more quickly than you can renovate your entire lower floor. If the foam could be made 100% starch based, I bet it could even be compostable - and eventually GOOD for the roses.
The ever present environmental problems raise their heads again. Spraying all that evil foam into the world can’t be a great idea. However, throwing out your home contents and buying afresh is pretty evil too. Lesser of two evils?
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Excellent diagram of a house there, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Popularity: 16% [?]

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